If you’ve been keeping up with my instagram lately, you’d know that yesterday was my 7 year anniversary with my fiancé. And in these 7 years I have learned a great deal so I decided to share my 7 biggest tips on a healthy relationship.
1.LIVE YOUR LIFE
This is so important in any relationship regardless of how long you’ve been with them. Just because you’re two peas in a pod doesn’t mean you should consider the other person your siamese twin and drag them everywhere you go. You are ALLOWED to have your own interests, dislikes, habits, hobbies and your partner is allowed to do the same. Don’t lose your “me” for the “WE”.
2.FOLLOW YOUR HEART
YOU made the decision to let this person in so be honest with yourself and ask yourself if you truly see them being in your future or not. Apply the 5×5 rule to all aspects in your life! (The rule is that if it won’t matter in 5 years, don’t waste 5 minutes over it.)
Oldest rule in the book, but a golden one to remember. They won’t know what you’re thinking or how you feel until you SPEAK UP. Always share what you’re thinking even if it results in a fight. It’s always better to talk it out and fight it out than to hoard your feelings. Feelings fester when they’re hoarded and as a result you end up bitter and resentful.
ITS NEVER EASY. But it’s almost always worth it. Because even if that forgiveness doesn’t end up in a happily ever after and you’re left alone, you’ll at least know that your conscious is clear and your heart isn’t burdened. People make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes can cost a lot. anywhere from trust to full relationships. But what’s most important is to remember that some things aren’t always beyond repair, they just require a little more patience.
This has been a personal struggle for me because our relationship didn’t follow my 10 year plan where I wanted to be married by 23 and had my first kid at 25. Im 24 and I’m getting married in 2019 at 26. That was DEFINITELY NOT part of my plan. If this relationship has taught me anything it is to be patient with your partner and most importantly YOURSELF. Not everything will go the way you’ve planned it and that’s okay. Life is fluid and so it’s constantly moving.
It’s been hard as fuck to accept some things that he just comes with (habits, hobbies, family) and all of that has been a serious learning curve for me. Although I don’t necessarily WELCOME his habits, hobbies and family, I do accept that it is a buy-one-get-80-free deal. Ignorance is bliss, right?
7. BLOCK OUT THE EXTRA PEOPLE
The world is full of people so there’s no way that your partner will look good to you all the time. You might get all gushy over the random compliment given to you by that stranger in the coffee shop and admire their hair or get those late night “I miss you” texts from old flames; AVOID THAT SHIT. CUT IT OUT. Stay focused on your partner and the promises you’ve made them and do not fuck shit up for a pair of tits or a below average dick just because you’re caught in a dry spell and someone just looks like a tall drink of water. People who don’t respect your relationship are cancerous motherfuckers who need to be CUT OUT.